Breathless
by lewiecullen
Summary: ONE SHOT. Bella has Enochlophobia - Fear of crowds . Edward is famous - widely known and esteemed . They love each other - a strong positive emotion of regard and affection.  After losing their baby, is love enough to keep them together? A/H


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own twilight characters.**

**Hey readers! This story was originally from a contest, but I changed it heaps and put a few twist and stuff in. Sorry if the names 'Ben' and 'Summer' come up randomly, the characters were originally those names.**

**I hope you enjoy and please tell me what you think :)**

_I believe everything happens for a reason, the choices you make may not be the smartest or brightest, but in the long run, one of those choice's could've lead to ten different choice's and those choice's lead to more, and so on. So based on that one decision, your whole life could change. But was it for your own good, or someone else's?_

**PART ONE**

_**San Francisco, **_

_**Bella.**_

As I furiously flicked through the pages of the trashiest magazine I could find, I sighed. It was stupid that I did this regularly, but it was an addiction; I needed to see what they were writing about him, he was my fiancée after all.

Just when I was about to give up, there he was, on pages twenty and twenty-one. There were at least five photos of him across the double pages, and unfortunately I was in a few. It was when we went to a small café outside China town. I realized that one of the photos was of me eating; I looked dreadful. My long wavy brown hair was frizzy and messy, my Ray Bans were attempting to hold pieces of my hair back so I couldn't get it in my food, but the attempt failed. In the photo, Edward was laughing at my appalling bad manners. I was also wearing my black leggings and a loose grey dress with my black vest and long grey boots.

The main photo, which had us holding hands in the street, was centered. Edward's chocolate brown hair was in its usual side fringe, he was wearing his favorite black skinny jeans and blue flannel shirt. Unfortunately, his beautiful blue eyes were hidden behind his black Ray Bans. There was a smaller picture next to us that was zoomed up on my left hand, on my engagement finger, showing his great-grandmothers engagement ring, of course, the press didn't know about that little detail.

'_Edward Cullen' _I began to read,_ 'and his fiancée, Bella Swan, were seen holding hands outside a discount book store uptown in China Town, San Francisco. Does this mean the recent lack of work for the young actor of twenty-three is affecting the couple's money status? -' _I closed the magazine and pushed it away from me, could these people be serious? Our money status? I mean, I may not have the most well paid job, but Edward had just finished filming a new hit movie; maybe these people should get their facts straight.

"Bella!" the lady at Starbucks called out to me, interrupting my thoughts.

I raised my hand and got up from the table. I grabbed both Edward's coffee and my own and returned to my seat. He was late, but this was routine, it took him twenty minutes to just get to the corner store. I'm hoping after another few months – when his new movie craze dies to old news – the fans will finally calm down.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S EDWARD CULLEN!" A young girl screamed.

"Can I get a photo with you?"

"I LOVE YOU!" two girls squealed in sync.

"Can I please get your autograph?"

I sank deeper into my seat and took a sip out of my coffee; I shot a glance at the crowd swarming around my future husband and rolled my eyes. I used to understand the whole fuss about meeting a celebrity, but now it just baffled me, I mean, they're just regular people.

Edward gave me a 'sorry I'm late' look between signing autographs and I laughed whilst poking my tongue at him, my signal saying that it was okay. Despite our easy exchange there was still so much tension in the air. He frowned slightly (accentuating the dark rings under his eyes) but turned back towards the two fifteen-year-olds standing next to him, who both were gasping for air, since they were having trouble breathing. This was just ridiculous.

Once he had signed something for everyone, he quickly ran to me and wrapped his arms around me from behind, since I was still sitting down, "I'm so sorry, there was a tour group walking along the street and they saw me..." he trailed off, feeling no need to continue.

"It's fine, I'm used to it," I smiled and tried to kiss his cheek, but ended up kissing his throat since the position was a little awkward.

"Er... Sorry to interrupt but I was just wondering if you could sign this for me," I heard a young girl ask; she was the youngest fan I'd seen today.

Edward sighed and pulled away from me, I sank deeper into the chair and rested my head back as he turned towards the girl. Suddenly he seemed to enter another space. He stared at the girl and his eyes welled up. Even now, even here, our secret agony revealed itself.

"Yes, of course," he gave her a small smile that just reached the side of his cheeks and signed the piece of paper in her shaking hand.

She grinned, "Thank you so much," and slowly walked away, but kept looking back at him with wide eyes. That was when I noticed everyone in the store was staring; none of them were at least trying to be subtle about it. It's all anyone ever did while Edward was around, was to just stare...

Edward turned back to me and returned his arms around to the place I had been sitting before, his hands fell through the emptiness. He re-focused his eyes on my new position, "sorry. I know you're pretending it doesn't bug you, but I know it does," he sighed.

"I don't mind it that much, it's just a little annoying sometimes when we're –er-talking," I whispered.

A grin formed at his lips, "how about we get out of here?" he suggested.

"There's just going to be as many people out there," I motioned towards the windows, "as there are in here, well definitely more," I grimaced.

"Well… we could go home?" he said raising his eyebrows.

I scrunched my face together. "But home's all the way uptown, and we'll have to walk, and I'm not in the mood for whatever you're thinking of doing there," I muttered.

He chuckled and grabbed his coffee. "Actually…It was just a suggestion, I was really thinking that we should hire some bikes and ride over the bridge to Sausalito. Get a hotdog or an ice-cream?" he suggested.

_A romantic bike ride with Edward? Alone?_ I beamed at him, "that sounds perfect. I was going to go into work later but I'm sure Aunt Jane won't mind if I just come in tomorrow."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're entitled to have some quality time with your fiancée," he winked.

He twined our fingers together and pulled me towards the bike rental store across the road from Starbucks. There was a huge line waiting for the cable car in the middle of the road, I noticed Edward pull up his hoodie and put his glasses on. I could still tell it was him, but hopefully no one else would.

He wrapped his arm around me and held me close to his side; I put my Ray Bans on as well, just in case someone noticed me.

To my surprise, the people in the rental store didn't notice Edward until he gave them his details, they asked for a photo and I happily took it. I was a natural at photography, not just from all the thousands of times I'd taken photo's of Edward with fans, but from doing a course at college a few years back, I didn't finish because –

"Bella, why are you taking so long?" Edward called from outside.

I snapped straight back into reality and walked outside and stopped at the bike next to Edward, "Sorry," I answered.

One of the staff members gave us a map and told us which paths to take. I climbed on my bike and was thankful that I had worn short pants and Vans today.

Edward got on his bike and started off in front of me; we weaved through the cars and pedestrians and finally got on a path that had no interruptions. It only took twenty minutes to get to the Golden Gate Bridge, when we got there, Edward and I posed for a photo in front of the bridge – which an elderly couple happily took for us; it would look great in our new apartment.

We stopped at a viewing point half way along the bridge, we parked our bikes and walked to the edge of the bridge, Edward wrapped his arms around my waist as we stared at the breathtaking view. There was a light sheet of fog resting along the coastline of the city, but I could still see the outlines of the buildings. It was just so beautiful, it almost took my breath way.

I pulled out my camera and as the picture on the screen froze into the sight before my eyes, I sighed.

"You miss them, don't you?"

I merely nodded. "We used to come here on weekends, just to spend time with each other and to get me out of the house," I could feel the thump in my throat forming, the one that would bring the tears that were almost becoming routine when I talked about my parents.

"I'm sorry I brought you here, we can go back…" he motioned towards town.

"No, it's fine. They died years ago… it's fine" I forced a smile on my face. I couldn't help but see flashes of my past circling in my mind, Edward new the story.

There was a cool breeze blowing on us from the sea and Edward automatically tightened his arms around me protectively. I turned around and forced my lips upon his, "I can't wait till we get married," I murmured between kisses.

"Neither can I, you are my favorite person in the entire universe after all," he said and kissed me once more. I sensed his hidden sadness behind his words, I had offended him with my words.

I was about to deepen the kiss but I heard, "OH MY GOD! IT'S EDWARD CULLEN!" a girl screamed and I saw everyone turn to look at us.

I pulled away from Edward but he held me close to his chest and quickly walked us back to the bikes. I could hear the crowd of people swarming behind us, screaming his name, asking for photos and autographs.

He helped me onto my bike, took a deep breath and turned towards the crowd, "I'm sorry everyone, but I'm actually here with my fiancée" he gestured towards me, "and we're trying to enjoy our day without any interruptions, I hope you can understand," he smiled then got on to his bike and took off down the bridge quickly; I tried to keep up.

I could hear a swarm of people behind us getting on their bikes, I shot a glance behind us and the entire crowd was now following us. I picked up my pace and began peddling as fast as I could behind Edward. That was when my bike started to fail beneath my control.

_**Sausalito,**_

_**Bella.**_

"Stop squirming around and stay still," Edward groaned.

I exhaled and glared at him, "fine, but this better not hurt," I warned through my teeth.

He rolled his eyes and lightly dabbed the cloth - with the antiseptic cream on it - on my knee, lucky for him it didn't hurt. It only took him a few minutes to clean up the gash of blood that had been dripping down my leg a few moments ago and then to clean up the cut. When he was finished, he chucked all the wrappings and dirty cloths in the bin.

"Trust you to fall off your bike when we go for a romantic bike ride…" he murmured as he sat down next to me on the park bench, a smile forming at his lips.

"Romantic!" I snorted.

He looked down at me, his eyebrows rose, "wasn't it romantic for you?"

I thought for a moment, "it was until everyone noticed you," I said, and just as I did, I glace around the park we were sitting in, everyone was staring; didn't the rule 'its rude to stare' apply for us? It was embarrassing enough falling off the bike with everyone on the bridge watching, now an entire park knowing what happened… surely it will be on the news tonight, I'm sure one of the bystanders had a camera in hand, and then it will end up on YouTube by tonight…

"No, I do believe the romance was killed after you fell off your bike, and I had to ask two complete strangers to follow us with the bikes -"

_I bet they didn't mind, _I thought to myself.

"-while I took you to the drug store to get everything, so I could assist you with your leg…"

"But I wouldn't have fallen if your fans weren't chasing after us, so technically… you killed the romance" I protested, knowing I had just won the argument.

His playful smile had completely vanished from his face, and he was now hurt by my words, "you're right, I'm so sorr-"

I put my hand over his mouth, "I know you can't help it," I stained a smile upon my lips, attempting to make it look natural.

He didn't return one back. "But we're never going to be able to do things like this, well without being swarmed by paparazzi or fans… and I am so sorry about that…" he sighed.

I touched his cheek gracefully with my hand. "Let's just take the ferry back to the city and catch a taxi home, and stay indoors tonight, away from society" I suggested, a true natural smile forming upon my lips.

He placed his hand on top of mine, "God, I just love you so much, the feelings I have for you, sometimes it just makes me feel sick."

"_Love sick_," I muttered then chuckled quietly. "So enough sharing of our feelings, are you ready to go home now?"

"Home is whenever I'm with you," he recited the words from my favorite song and kissed my forehead.

I couldn't help but laugh, "Right back at cha," I mused and closed my eyes.

He pulled away and helped me up. Holding my hand, whilst guiding me towards the ferry dock, humming the tune to 'Home' by Edward Sharpe.

**PART TWO**

_**Los Angeles, California,**_

_**Bella.**_

After finally finishing setting up the new house and getting everything perfect, Edward's assistant, Alice, called to tell us that the movie was going to start touring the country the day after tomorrow. The first premiere was in Los Angeles, so of course we had to fly there straight away and unfortunately; first class, I don't know why Edward's insisted we go first class, it was so unnecessary, but I guess it was better than a hundred strangers staring at you for an hour…

This wasn't my first premiere, Edward had taken me to dozens before and even for our first date, luckily that was when he was playing minor roles and nobody really knew who he was.

I remember him so well back then, I was nineteen and he had just turned twenty. I was still working for my Aunty in her discount bookstore and that's where we first met. I can remember that day very clearly, he came into the store in hope that we would own the novel version of the new movie he was in, I can't even remember the name anymore, but I remember Edward being very anxious about something. After I informed him that I hadn't even heard of the title, he didn't really seem surprised and left immediately.

The next week, he came in with the book, and told me he was finished using it and wanted me to keep it, and since we collected second-hand books all the time, I took it off his hands. I remember he specifically telling me to read the book so as soon as he left I curiously looked through the first couple of pages and discovered that he had written his name _Edward Cullen _and his number. I waited a few days to call and he had told me over the phone he was almost about to come back in and ask me on a date in person. He invited me to the premiere of one of the movies he had done a while back. Edward was barely in the movie at all, but somehow he got an invite.

That night I had dressed up in one of my mother's old formal gowns and Edward came to pick me up at six. It took me an hour to just pull myself together and bring myself to actually put some make-up on and start getting ready, I was so scared of walking on the red carpet while having thousands of people staring at me. But I had finally convinced myself to just get over it and to not embarrass Edward by having a nervous breakdown. We had dinner before the premiere, which helped me settle down my nerves. Edward had bought me a rose, which had filled my body with the most contentment of warmth and I had smiled so brightly that he smiled back at me.

When we first walked out of the limo and onto the red carpet my heart was pounding so hard that I was almost breathless, but Edward had held my hand and we walked straight into the theater since no one knew who he was and didn't want an interview with him. Afterwards we went out for ice cream and Ben told me about how he always wanted to be an actor. When Edward dropped me home later that night, he walked me to the door and kissed me goodnight, which happened to be our first kiss.

I walked inside the house in a daze; I had fallen in love with him right then and there. I knew that we would be together forever.

It seems kind of silly to me now that I could have possibly known that, but I guess when you know, you know.

Later that night Edward had called me and asked me if I wanted to have dinner with him at this fancy new restaurant he got invited to go to the opening of. He told me that heaps of people were going to be there, in the mist of panicking I told him that I wasn't really in the mood to go out and that he should just go without me. He told me that was ridiculous idea and asked if I wanted to just have dinner at his house, I declined and suggested mine. 'I'm cooking dinner then,' he said and hung up after I told him my address and to come over at six.

The next night six o'clock came and went and I began to think I was being stood up, even though he had been the one to ask me out. After about an hour I was done waiting and started cooking dinner for one. Just when I was about to take the first bite out of my pasta, the doorbell rang. I answered it with a frowned face but as soon as I saw what was at the door, my cheeks rose high as I smiled. Edward was standing holding a bouquet of roses in one hand and a full bag of groceries in the other. After he apologized about twenty times I let him in. While I put the flowers in a vase he explained to me why he was late, telling me that his manager told him last minute that he had to be at the restaurant opening and he tried to call me but every time he did, someone would interrupt him.

I forgave him straight away of course but wasn't really in the mood to cook another meal or wait since I was starving, so he suggested we get a burger from the little fast-food store down the road, he told me he didn't even eat at the restaurant. I heard the word 'little' so I inhaled a deep breath and agreed to go. As soon as we arrived at the store I noticed how the store wasn't 'little' at all, it was huge and was packed full of people. I instantly froze in the middle of the sidewalk and my heart immediately started pounding against my chest. I tried to focus only on my breathing so I could settle down to slow and steady but nothing worked. Edward hadn't even noticed I had stopped until he turned to look at me and I was gone.

He ran back to me, 'Bella, what's wrong?' I remember him whispering in my ear, 'your shaking, come on let's take you back home'

But I was stone, I couldn't move. I tried to fight against it but my body took over me and everything went black... I remember waking up on the couch in my apartment and seeing a hot bowl of soup on the table in front of me. Edward was just walking out of the kitchen when he saw me, he smiled and said, 'I guess we just have to dine here from now on.' From then on, we were inseparable.

But our story wasn't as simple as that, there were some rough times and there were some amazing times.

This one particular story started when Edward and I had been dating for about six months; we were madly in love and barely spending anytime apart, only when we were working was we couldn't be together. That month I had been getting very sick all of a sudden and throwing up at the most odd times, once we had been at an art exhibition and I had been violently sick on one of the art works, _I was banned for life_. Edward was getting worried that there was something really wrong with me, but I told him it was just a bug and would go away soon.

But little did I realize that I was late on my period. I didn't take much notice of this as I was so busy working at the bookstore, but when I stopped getting sick I finally notice what was wrong with me. I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.

**PART THREE**

**EIGHTEEN MONTHS AGO**

_**San Francisco,**_

_**Bella.**_

I knocked on the door twice and waited for Edward to answer the door, I could hear him inside playing his guitar, but the sound stopped almost as soon as I heard it. Edward had never played in front of me, he told me once that it was something he only did for himself and that he was awful at it to another human's ears.

Usually it would annoy me that he didn't play for me, but today I had other things on my mind. I was pregnant and he was the father.

When Edward opened the door, he pulled me into his arms and held me there for a few moments, "I missed you," he whispered into my left ear.

I couldn't help myself from chuckling, "you came in and saw me an hour ago at work."

He pulled me away at arm's length, "Yeah, I know, But at work we can't do this," he said and kissed my lips softly.

I was so court up in the moment that I barely noticed that I was still standing outside in the hall way, "enough of that" I said detaching my lips from his, "I'm starving!" I groaned before walking inside.

"Well good, because dinner is ready."

We ate our dinner whilst discussing our days; I noticed that he asked how I was feeling more than once. I didn't know how I was going to tell him about the pregnancy. Edward and I have only been together for six months! He was halfway through shooting his new movie and promoting his old one. How could a baby possibly fit into his life right now… but I needed to tell him, since I was going to keep it.

When we had both finished, I offered to do the dishes since he had cooked dinner but of course he helped me. Just as I had completed stacking the dishwasher I watched Edward unset the table. He moved in such a way that I couldn't take my eyes of him, a smile was radiating from his face and when he looked up at me, I couldn't help but return one back. He moved towards me with his arms wide open, offering me a hug, but just as I opened mine I heard my phone ringing from inside my bag.

"I'll get it," he said, repositioning his arms so that they were aiming towards my bag instead of me.

My heart sunk deep towards the pits of my stomach as I remembered the positive pregnancy test was inside my bag. I launched myself at it, but his quick hands beat mine, he was holding it in hands. The sound of my phone stopped ringing. He stood up straight to fully focus on the item in his hands.

He was silent for a moment, just staring at the test with a look of shock plastered on his face. "Edward…" the word exited my mouth in such a low sound that I thought it wasn't possible that he heard me.

He looked up at me, "is this yours?" he asked in a whisper.

I nodded, trying to hold back the tears forming in my eyes. I was preparing myself for when he would ask me to leave.

"And I'm the father, correct?"

"Yes."

Tears were swelling in his eyes, "IM GOING TO BE A DAD!" he screamed with joy and ran to me and scooped me up into his arms. He kissed me passionately and then looked back at the test, "Is this for real?" he asked in excitement.

"Yes, but aren't you worried about your career or losing your social life? Edward… a baby is going to be a lot of work and your busy nonstop with things going on in your life, are you sure your happy with this?"

He grinned at me so brightly that it filled my heart with warmth, "jobs and hobbies mean nothing to me, I've wanted to be a dad ever since I was old enough to understand what babies were!" he said louder than necessary, "I love you!" he mused and kissed me once more.

After Edward had finished celebrating with my lips, he reached for his phone and began dialing. I snatched the phone from his hands, "what the hell are you doing!" I yelled at him with frustration.

"Calling my mum?" he said, confused.

"Edward… Look I know you're excited, I'm excited too, but I'm not a hundred percent sure if I am. I don't want you do get your hopes up," I cried, my words becoming weaker by the minute. I slipped out of his arms and headed towards the door, but he connected our hands together.

"How about we go to the doctor's tomorrow then? And whatever the test results say, I will be here for you, always."

The doctor confirmed the pregnancy and I had never seen Edward smile so vibrantly in my time with him. He began to watch me like a hawk, always conscious of my movements, as I would cook dinner for us, walk to work and worst of all, while I was asleep. Although it was incredibly thoughtful of him, it was also extremely annoying and unnecessary.

To my astonishment Edward started playing lullaby's to my stomache, he would always sing with so much passion and his fingers would flutter against the string as if he'd been playing his whole life. It was so beautiful.

About a month later, I came home from work to find my apartment candle lit and my dining room table was filled with the entire contents of my fridge. Edward appeared from the bathroom and looked up at me as if he wasn't expecting me, "hi," he said.

I put my bag and the few books I had collected to read from work on the kitchen counter, "Hi," I replied. "This is unexpected," I noted.

He nodded and chuckled slightly, "yeh, I wanted to surprise you but, I forgot you finished work at five-thirty, so I'm a little unorganized…" he mused and pulled out one of the chairs from the table, "sit," he smiled.

I followed his instructions and sat down, "so what is this all for exactly?" I racked my brains thinking if it was an anniversary but today had no significance towards our relationship, to say the least.

"No reason, I just wanted to cook you a nice meal, you know, be romantic," he grinned at me and as he sat down opposite me, he winked.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but return a smile.

After a few minutes of the common talk of work and our day, I had finished my meal but noticed Edward hadn't even touched his. He got up from his seat and retrieved something from his coat, which has been lying on the table.

I watch him closely, debating on where he was going with this whole romantic dinner thing. He gradually walked towards me; his steps looked as though they were carefully being analysed by his brain. When he approached me, he slowly sank down on one knee.

He gracefully placed the object that was in his hand into mine. My heart was beating faster than I could've thought possible. I opened my hand and saw a handsome velvet black box; I opened it with shaking hands.

"Bella Swan, this was my great-grandmothers wedding ring, my grandmother gave this to me and told me to give it to the girl who I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you more than life itself, will you please do me the honor of being my wife," he said looking up at me.

I looked down at the box and saw the diamond ring glittering in small light from the candles. I was almost speechless; there were so many things I could say right now but didn't know where to begin.

He waited patiently as I debated my options; finally after a few moments I brought myself to answer. "Why are you doing this Edward?" I asked in whispered still staring wide eyed at the ring.

He looked confused, "because I love you? And we're having a child together," he replied.

"I know you do, and I love you more than words can describe, but we don't need to get _married_ because we're having a baby, it's the 21st century for Christ sake!" I was a little hurt by the fact that Edward was only doing this for the baby's sake, and not just because he wanted to be with me.

"Is that what you think? I'm asking you to marry me because of the _baby_?" he questioned, a hurt expression plastered on his face.

"Well...aren't you? Edward we really haven't been together that long, how are you even sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

He gazed at me with a smile along his cheeks, "because I know what I want, and I want you. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms and wake up next to you every morning. I want you to be the mother of my children, I want you to be my wife, and I know we haven't been together that long, but I love you more than life itself and I'm not saying this because of the baby, I want to marry you, for you."

A smile was forming at my lips as he finished talking, but quickly began to fade away as I realized the truth. "Why now then? If it's not about the baby, then what's the rush? It's not like you were going to propose to me before I told you about the baby…" I stated, and I knew I was right.

"Bella…. I grew up in a family where it was…" he paused for a moment, obviously trying to think of the right way to connect his words for my understandment. "Responsible_, _that in a situation like this, marriage was the right thing to do," he smiled slightly, but I could see the truth behind his eyes, he didn't think it was very 'responsible' in the slightest.

I chortled louder than necessary, "well to tell you the truth, I don't even think I believe in married at our age. Don't get me wrong, I do want to marry you, but Edward be reasonable, I'm not even twenty yet, I'm still pretty much a teenager and we've only known each other for about six months, we don't have to rush into this because of a baby!"

"Well all I know is that I love you more than words can describe and regardless of the baby, I want to spend the rest of my life with y-" he paused for a moment, "- wait, didn't you just say you wanted to marry me?" he question, his eyebrows rose.

"Yes, but-"he put his hand over my lips to silence me.

"That's all I needed to hear," he grinned and replaced his hand with his lips.

I groaned in annoyance, I couldn't believe he had twisted my words up. Its not that I didn't want to marry Edward; he was the man I really truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with and he was the father of my unborn child but _marriage? At nineteen?_

A thought suddenly occurred to me, I smiled against his lips and kissed him back for a moment, "fine, you win," he smiled too and kissed me with more passion, "we'll get married…" he wrapped his arms around my waist and began kissing down my neck, "after the baby is born," I grinned as he pulled away from my neck. He was frowning at me when he came into view, "don't give me that look, you're the one that went around twisting my words, so I'm going to give you a taste of your own medicine, Mr. '_I want to marry you for you'_" I repeated his words from earlier in a lame impression of his voice, he rolled his eyes.

"Bella, you're being ridiculous"

I stood up, "no, you're being ridiculous! You're only wanting to marry me because there is a tiny little human growing inside my stomach which just happens to have your DNA in it!" I snapped; I had never raised my voice this loud at him.

He followed my movements and stood up as well, "actually…" he began to protest.

I pushed him back in the chair, "okay whatever… you want to marry me for me… blah blah blah…" I muttered in a high-pitched tone and walked away, heading for my bedroom.

Edward followed me down the hall, "does this mean you don't want to marry me?" he question, sounding deeply upset.

I groaned, "No, I do!" I tried to force a smile on my lip so he'd believe me.

"Doesn't seem like it…" he pouted and looked away.

I rolled my eyes, "whatever, believe what you want, but since technically you already asked and I technically said yes, we're engaged. So now that we have that all cleared up, I'm going to bed," I announced whilst taking my work clothes off and replacing them with my nightgown.

As my head hit the pillow I felt Edward's warm arms around me, "I love you," he whispered and kissed the back of my neck.

"Somehow, I feel the same way," I grinned, he nudged my back playfully and I could feel his fingers embedding his grandmother's diamond ring on my engagement finger.

"This is the first night of our forever," he breathed in my ear. Before I knew it I could hear small snores escaping his lips indicating he was now starting adventures in his dreams, I closed my eyes and joined him.

A week later, Edward moved into my apartment and every morning he would tell me how much he loved me and tell me he can't wait to marry me.

I was actually looking forward to starting my life together with Edward whilst being married, but not enough to admit that I wanted to marry him as soon as possible. I knew I could wait until the baby was born, as I had said the night he proposed.

When I was three months pregnant, Edward and I went to the movie premiere of the film version of the novel he had asked me for when we first met. This was my second movie premiere and I knew what to expect this time, I wasn't as nervous the first time since Edward promised me he only had one interview with a small reporter so I would only have to be on the red carpet for a short amount of time.

We began getting ready two hours before the premiere started, I wore the new dress I had bought for this evening and Edward worn his new black suit. My dress was a soft autumn colour in silk that loosely flowed down my body. We left the apartment at six and arrived at seven since we got a bite to eat on the way.

As soon as the door opened I could hear the screaming fans and see the photographer's camera's flashing non-stop, this was much bigger than last time, my heart was pounding in my chest, I was not prepared for this. Edward seemed surprised as well, his grip on my hand tightened as he guided me outside. The people staring at us whilst screaming out Edward's name were all mixing together in my mind, their face's becoming blurred.

I forced my limbs to move as we continued walking down the red carpet, I was starting to sweat and my breath quickened. I was yearning to run away and hide in a quit dark room where no one was near me for miles. I was screaming inside, I didn't know how I was still moving forward when all I was thinking about was running away. After what seemed to be a lifetime Edward finally reached the interviewer and began talking, though his words were muted to me, all I could hear was the echo of my heart beating in my chest. This was too much; I had to get out of here. Just when I took a step away from Ben, my stomach ripped inside me, I clutched my stomach and gasped for air. I lean forward since the pain was too much to handle standing straight; I noticed blood streaming down my legs.

Edward turned too looked at me - since I had let go of his hand. "NO!" he screamed in fear, his eyes were beginning to water as he looked at my wounded mangled body. He rushed to my side and scooped me up into his arms; he began running back down the red carpet as the crowds swarming us realized what had happened, our surroundings fell silent except the cameras, which were flashing more furiously now. I tried to hold back my tears but they continued to flow from my eyes down the contours of my cheeks, I leaned into Edward's chest and whispered "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..." over and over again.

**PART FOUR**

_**Los Angeles, Present. **_

_**Bella.**_

Remembering when I lost the baby was sometimes too hard to handle. Edward _never_ brought it up, and I never tried to talk about it. The months droned on and Edward was never entirely firm on hard ground, he was drifting away, becoming lost amongst reality. He went to work in a daze and came home late every night; his excuses were that work was running late but I could smell the alcohol in his breath, he was getting worse. I worried about him often; it broke my heart to see him this crushed.

The press took my mischarge as pure gold for their magazines, I tried to avoid reading them but somehow whilst waiting for my morning coffee the page somehow was always open on the articles about us.

'_Edward Cullen's movie premiere last night was horribly corrupted due to his fiancée, Bella Swan, dramatically being carried off the red carpet by Cullen himself. It was reported by an anonymous staff member of St. Mary's medical center in San Francisco that Swan suffered a miscarriage. Was this just a publicity stunt or was Bella really pregnant? _

_It is hard to believe that Bella Swan, 19, was pregnant as Edward has been constantly working and promoting his work. It was reported that Edward and Bella have been spending time apart due to Edward's obsession with his work._

_The latest news for the couple is Cullen has been sited leaving local bars well past two in the morning and Swan is still under bed rest.'_

In the mist of all of this, his guitar was now gathering dust in our closet. Edward not playing the one thing that helped him with becoming at peace with the world was definitely a bad sign.

We arrived in L.A a day early, so we had to stay at the Hyatt an extra night, which Edward and I didn't mind, we both loved the hotel; it was always quiet enough to eat in the main restaurant without any interruptions and to swim in the pool without young girls screaming after Edward. He hadn't been home late in a week, his breath was clean of alcohol and his clothes were forming the same scent I was used to. I still wasn't sure if this meant that he was better, or worse.

When I first met Edward, he wasn't very famous or well known to anyone, but now he was the main actor in the new hit movie _'Demon's To Hell'._ I was glad that in this one, there were no romantic interests with his character. It was a movie about demons sending people to hell and Edward played the character of the Scientist Chris Thompson, who is trying to figure out a way to stop the demons from taking over.

I usually wouldn't be interested in a movie like this, but Edward was in it, so of course I was going to watch it. The premiere was on the 14th of February, Valentine's Day, which was strange, since the movie was about blood and horror, but I suppose the producers thought a lot of men would take their dates to the movies. Both Edward, and I didn't really celebrate Valentine's Day, it was just another excuse to spend money on pointless things to us, he usually only bought me the one rose and took me out for dinner, but he regularly did that, so neither of us minded that we wouldn't get to go out, I was going to spend the night with him anyway, so it didn't really bother me.

When we arrived in the room I headed straight for the shower, it had been a long day, I hadn't got Edward's lack of drinking out of my mind. It was haunting me, we had never spoken about it, I knew how hurt he was but he never said anything. I didn't know what to do.

I let the warm water relax my muscles while I leaned against the tiled wall. I shut my eyes and took deep breaths, my thoughts focusing only on my breathing, the room was quiet; the only sound was of the water running…

I took another cleansing breath and smiled, this was almost a perfect moment, just like the moment a couple of weeks ago when Edward and I were on the Golden Gate Bridge, he had his arms wrapped around me so tightly, the world was at peace in that one moment, I was at peace, I was safe in his arms, the love we had for each other was at a perfect balance, I was happy even when I thought about my parents, we were happy… but then the world went back to reality and interrupted my perfect moment.

I stood up straight and weaved my hands through my wet hair; I let the water linger along the contours of my face, washing away all of my worries and stress. I heard the bathroom door open and I blushed as I felt two strong arms around my waist. I turned around and wrapped my arms around his torso, holding him there for a moment, I breathed in his scent, lavender and vanilla, my favorite scent in the world.

"Is there something wrong?" he whispered into my left ear. He could read me so well, yet he had mastered not showing his hurt emotions towards me. _Stupid famous acting skills._

"Why would something be wrong?" I asked raising my head and tried to look into his eyes, it was difficult since the water was splashing onto both of us.

He cradled my cheek in his hand, "you just look upset…" he mused; I could tell he was analyzing my facial expressions.

I plastered on a fake smiled, "Nothing's wrong, I was just thinking… you know how I get when my brain goes on full turbo mode," I joked.

His eyes tightened, "Hmmm…yes," he muttered whilst frowning at me.

I looked away from him, I really didn't want him to know that I was stressing over nothing, because that's what I was doing. Edward can solve is own problems in his own time; he was fine. Just as I thought it, I saw a flash of a deeply depressed expression upon his facial features, but they were hidden just as fast as they had come. The only way I knew how to get his mind off asking me about my feelings for a while, was to do something I rarely did, seduce him.

**PART FIVE**

_**Los Angeles.**_

_**Bella.**_

In the morning, I opened my eyes to a very dark room, I could see the bright light trying to break past the blinds but they were too thick for it to do any damage. I yawned and stretched my arms and legs out across the bed, I half expected to bump into Edward's body, but I didn't.

I weaved my hands through the sheets until I found a piece of paper where Ben's body should have been. I quickly jolted up and turned the lamp on:

_My Dearest Bella,_

_Something's come up and I had to go see Alice, I will call you as soon as I'm finished, and I'll come pick you up so we can go out for lunch. :)_

_With all my heart…_

_Edward._

I wiped my eyes – removing all traces of sleep - and read through the message properly, _what could possibly be wrong for Alice to want to see Edward?_

I shrugged my shoulders and got up off the bed. I picked up my phone off the bedside table and looked at the time; _12:02 pm_

_Wow, I really did sleep in,_ I thought. It wasn't usual for me to sleep in this late, but I guess I hadn't really had a good night's sleep in awhile; it was nice to not have to worry about getting up early.

I walked around the suite trying to find the TV room, the whole apartment was big enough that I got lost, the bathroom was the size of my old bedroom from my previous apartment and the kitchen seem to better equipped than ours.

After checking almost every room, I found it - naturally it was one of the last doors I checked. I lounged along the couch and turned the TV on. It had almost every channel known to man, but I settled on an old-fashioned movie channel and began watching 'Bewitched'.

I couldn't help myself from glancing at my phone everyone couple of seconds, it had been more than a four hours since I had read the note from Edward and he still hadn't called, he _always_ called, even if he wasn't finished with whatever he was doing.

My heart began to race, and the room began to spin around me, _what if Edward got mugged? Or was found by a group of school girls that chased him and he fell and hit his head and was lying unconscious in the gutter…_ my mind speculated on every possible reason on why Edward wouldn't be able to reach his phone.I knew I was being way too paranoid, but I was always like this, for everything, I'd seen a counselor a couple of times when I was younger, but it never helped.

I jumped when I heard my phone ringing; I laughed and rolled my eyes when I saw Edward's number appear on the screen, "Hello?" I said, I tried to keep my voice as even as possible.

"BELLA!" I heard him yell, but he didn't seem to be anywhere close to the phone.

"What's wrong? Look we don't have to go out to lunch if you don't want, you can get something to eat while you're out and I'll order room service," I announced even though it was way past lunch time.

"BELLA!" he yelled again, "DON'T LEAVE THE APARTMENT, I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY –" the phone was suddenly disconnected and I looked down at my phone, _was this some kind of sick joke? No. Edward wouldn't joke about something like this, but who would want to kidnap him_… It suddenly hit me that this wasn't a joke; there are hundreds of people who would kidnap a celebrity for countless reasons…

I furiously began dialing Edward's number and put the phone to my ear, someone answered but all I could hear was their breathing, and someone struggling in the background, after a moment they stopped, "Hello?" I said, my voice shaky, "if you have Edward, I have money, JUST PLEASE DON'T HURT HIM!" I begged.

Silence.

"SHE'S ON THE OTHER LINE ISN'T SHE!" Edward yelled, "PLEASE LET ME SPEAK TO HER! BELLA! DON'T TRUST –"

_Beep…beep…beep..._

My heart stopped as I got up from the couch, what was I suppose to do, call the police? I could, but Edward hadn't been missing for more than 24 hours, but I did hear him say that he had been kidnapped, so there's evidence to pursue with.

Just when I was about to dial '911', my phone started ringing;_ Alice,_ I really wasn't in the mood to talk to her right now; I'd never really been a big fan of Edward's assistant, but Edward told me that he was with her, maybe she knew something.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hello Bella, I was just wondering if you were with Edward? He left his wallet behind and I've been trying him on his cell but I've been getting no answer."

I sighed, "No, I'm not."

"Oh, really… he left hours ago. Do you know where he is? Has he called you?"

"Look Alice, I just received a call from him, he told me that he had been kidnapped and then the phone got disconnected…"

"Have you called the police?"

"No… I was about to, but you rang," I informed.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, please hurry and call them! Tell me if they find him," she insisted.

"Alright, goodbye." I said and hung up before she could say anything else.

I pulled my hair up into a bun while walking into my bedroom. I could get Alice's voice saying '_he left hours ago'_ out of my head. Just as I went to pick the phone up to dial '911' I felt something building up from my stomach heading towards my throat, I ran to the bathroom and just reached the sink in time, I vomited. When I finally stopped I rinsed my mouth out. _I hadn't eaten any bad foods, had I?_ No, Edward and I had only eaten at the buffet down stairs and this was a five star restaurant, though I did eat some prawns last night… thinking about them brought another load of vomit forcing out of my mouth, I felt lightheaded.

A few moments later I was so weak since I hadn't eaten at all today, I fell to the floor, but I needed to get to the phone and call the police for Edward. Just as I attempted to get up, my arms collapsed and everything went black.

_I was sitting in a crowded room; my mother and father were at each side of me. I looked around the open area in wonder. My short little legs were swinging in my chair; I was excited._

_My father and mother exchanged a small glance and my mother turned to look at me, 'sweet heart, I'm just going to go to the bathroom, ill be back in a moment.'_

_She left and my father began tickling me, 'daddy, stop!' I giggled._

_He laughed, 'are you excited darling?' he asked._

'_Yes!' I beamed at him. _

_Just as I had said it the stage started lighting up in the distance. I sat up to get a better view, people were screaming in excitement. Dad looked up with a smile but his face suddenly dropped; he was frowning. 'Bella, I want you to take my hand and don't let go, do you understand?' he whispered in my ear, the crowd around us were hurrying out of their seats, almost in a panic._

_I nodded and he grabbed my hand instantly. I was being dragged through the crowd, the people around me were running and I was being pushed and shoved a lot. "RENE! RENE!" my dad screamed my mothers name as he searched the crowd._

_After a few panicked moments dad found her, she was calling out my name but she was stuck in the mist of the swarming people. My father turned to me, 'Summer, I'm going to go get your mother I want you to stay right here, don't move, don't talk to anyone. Just stay here,' he said and left me._

_I lost him amongst the crowd and my heart began to beat faster in my chest. The crowd was getting more aggressive, I had been pushed away from my original position, which was were my father had told me to stay._

_BANG!_

_I heard screams and the swarming crowd was now sprinting in all directions, I was getting carried off the ground from all the movement. "DADDY! MUMMY!" I yelled at the top of my voice. I shot a glance towards the place my mother had been and my heart stop beating._

_She was motionless in my father's arms, her eyes wide and lifeless. Blood was streaming down her body. "MUMMY!" I screamed again, but it was muted by the noise around me. I tried to force my legs to move towards them but I seemed to be moving further away. I could see them through small gaps in the crowd; there were two men in black talking to my father._

_BANG!_

I woke up to the sound of the front door opening, I jolted up and crawled closer to the bathroom door so I could hear better. My eyes were tired from sleep but my body was fully aware on my current situation. Just as my eyes feel upon the door of the bedroom, a man came. I couldn't see his face but he was wearing all black. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest. _Not again, _my mind said aloud.

The intruder lured his head from side to side, as if looking for something, and then he abruptly left the room. I slowly crawled into the closet to grab something that would help protect me, the umbrella was the first thing my hands touched. I crept towards the bedroom door and peeked my head out to see into the kitchen, it was empty.

My shaking arms pulled my body to my feet and I tiptoed into the living room, empty. I exhaled, _maybe I had literally gone crazy and imagined him, _I put the umbrella down and headed back towards the bedroom. My body suddenly fell to the floor; something had bumped into me.

I weakly raised my head up to see a tall man with a black mask on his face, I screamed and got up from the floor, I began running towards the kitchen but strong arms lifted me up and pressed me to his chest, "LET GO OF ME!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

The man laughed and lifted the mask off his face; I recognized the familiar features of his unforgettable face. It was Edward, _what?_

"EDWARD!" I squealed, but this time it was a scream of joy. I wrapped my arms around his neck, "oh my god, you scared me to death!" I breathed and kissed his lips softly. I could taste the alcohol in his breath.

"Sorry, I was just playing around…" he smiled lightly.

"Well it wasn't funny," I protested.

"What! Are you kidding! It was hilarious, you had the biggest freak out over the phone," he laughed; I sensed something different about the way he laughed.

I froze and pulled away from him, so I could look at him in the eyes, "what do you mean?"

"The phone call, sorry I did it but we were all down at the pub and I had a couple of drinks –"

"It was four in the afternoon!" I yelled.

"Yeah, I know, but I was just having some fun, a couple of the boys from the movie also called their partners as well and did the same joke on them, it was hilarious," he chuckled, "but man I have the worst head ache," he said rubbing his forehead. "It was a big night, I think I'm still a bit drunk" he mused then laughed.

"Can you put me down please," I mumbled, still frozen from shock. I glanced at the clock in the kitchen; it was morning. I had slept through the night.

He raised his eyebrows whilst placing me on the floor; I let go of him and headed towards the bedroom. He followed, "are you okay?" he asked.

I didn't reply as I continued walking towards the bed. "What's wrong now?" he questioned.

I looked up at him with pain filled eyes, "what do you mean, 'what's wrong now?'"

"Well you always seem to have something wrong, all the time, can't you like ever just be normal?" he looked at me funny, he was definitely more than a 'little bit' drunk.

"Well I'm sorry that I'm not perfect! But I can't help the way I am!"

"Yes you can! Stop getting scared all the time!"

"How dare you! You know I can't help it!" I screamed.

"I was thinking about this on the way home… actually I've been thinking about it for awhile now. If you didn't have that STUPID _'illness'_ we'd have a baby by now and be married!"

I was stunned, this was the first time Edward had even mentioned the baby. I couldn't help the tears from streaming down my cheeks, how could he say this to me, even if he was drunk. "Well maybe if you weren't a famous actor then we'd still have the baby and be married!" I yelled.

I headed towards the closet, I grabbed my suitcase and placed it on the king sized bed and immediately started packing.

"Bella? What are you doing?" he questioned.

"Packing," I said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yes, I can see that. May I ask why you are packing?" he asked, a hint of humor in his voice.

"I'm going home," I muttered while grabbing my toiletry bag out of the bathroom.

He grabbed my hand to stop me, "look, the phone call was a joke, why are you getting so worked up about it?"

I slowly turned around to face him, "what kind of _fiancée _calls up their partner and _pretends_ that they've been kidnapped? You know how stressed I get!" I screamed and pushed against his chest, "I even thought it was Alice who kidnapped you, by the way you left your wallet with her…." I was getting off subject, "look Edward… what you put me through was really horrible, and I don't think I can be with someone who thinks stuff like that is funny. I'll just take a flight back tonight while you're at the premiere and I'll try and get most of my stuff out of the apartment by the time you stop touring, I'll stay at a hotel while we sort this-"

He put his hand on top of my mouth; "Wait, are you breaking up with me?" deep depression was arising from his voice.

I could feel the tears about to form from my already wet eyes, "Yes," I whispered.

He wrapped his arms around me, "Please don't do this, I didn't mean it, I promise I'll never do it again," he cried.

I sighed, that wasn't the only reason I was doing this, I looked up at him, through my tear filled eyes, "its not just about the phone call, it's everything… the fans, the premieres… I just can't do it anymore." I looked away, "I can't be with someone like you, even you said it yourself," I stated, I was more convincing myself then him.

"What do you mean, 'someone like me'?"

"Someone who can't even walk down a street without another person asking them for their autograph! Someone who can't take their fiancée on a romantic bike ride or out to dinner…" It was hard to get it all out; since it was the first time I had said it aloud. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Bella…" I hear him whispered softly. "Don't do this…"

"Edward, I love you, but I just can't do this anymore, I'm so sorry, I wish I was stronger and I wish I never had this _stupid_ illness, either. I got this illness from witnessing my parent's being murdered when I was eight, I'm sorry how it's affected you, I know you always wanted children. We could have been happy together, but we fell apart as the doctor said those heartbreaking words... Good luck with the première."

He let go of me and fell to the floor; he put his head in his hands and began to cry. I took a deep breath and grabbed my suitcase. I headed straight for the front door. I glanced back at Edward on the floor then walked out of the hotel suit, on Edward, on our life together, on everything.

**PART SIX**

**Five Years Later**

_**San Francisco,**_

_**Bella.**_

I sighed as I sat down on the park bench; I closed my eyes and took a deep cleansing breath. I felt the wind against my face and my cheeks rose into a rare smile. It was nice to relax; I had been on the go for weeks, only getting four hours sleep at night…

I heard the bench creak which told me I wasn't alone anymore, I sat up straight and turned to look at them, I froze. I couldn't take my eyes off him or even run away, I was expecting this day to come for a long time, but I wasn't expecting it to happen like this.

Edward turned to face me and his whole body stiffened while his mouth hung open. After a few moments he finally spoke, "hello," his eyes were filling with tears.

"Hi," I said and it reminded me of when he arrived home from touring by himself all over America.

After I had left him in Los Angeles and arrived home, I immediately turned on my TV and watched the premiere in tears. I listened to Edward explain in countless interviews why I wasn't with him, every time he said I was sick, his eyes would look pained. The same look that I had seen for just that one moment in the shower.

I cried myself to sleep for months, but I convinced myself that what I was doing the right thing. I could never have a normal life with Edward; we would always be in the spotlight.

Edward moved out the week after his arrival home. I quit my job at the bookstore and started a job as a photographer. Every night I would turn on the TV and watch what they were saying about our break up.

The paparazzi sometimes followed me in the street, asking me about the break up but it died down as quickly as it started. His career seemed to go downhill after the separation, and the news reports about him started to minimize, there would occasionally be photos of him in the streets. At first he would be walking alone, but after a year or so, his right hand would always be occupied by Tanya Miller, her strawberry curly blonde hair flowed past her make-up covered face. In every single photo, Edward never smiled, or looked at her for that matter.

I never found someone I was interested in; I was too busy to even think about going on a date, ever since-

"MUMMY! MUMMY!" I heard Ben yell - interrupting my thoughts - and jumped onto my lap.

I wrapped my arms around my beautiful four-year-old son and kissed his cheek, "What?" I asked; looking at Edward from the corner of my eye, the shock was even more plastered on his face.

I knew what he was thinking; he could see the resemblance. Ben had the same blue colored eyes as him, the same nose, mouth, and the same chocolate brown straight hair.

"I found this!" Ben said excitedly, he opened his right hand showing me a yellowly browny rock.

"Whoa, isn't that pretty," I smiled.

Ben beamed at me then turned to look at Edward, "hello sir, who may you be?" he questioned.

Edward pulled himself together and said, "Edward Cullen. Who are you?" he asked, and I could tell he generally wanted to know.

"I'm Ben," He smiled and extended his hand so Edward could shake it. They shook hands.

"Edward!" I heard someone yell from the distance.

We both turned to see a mid-twenties woman wearing high heels and a tank top, "Edward! There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Edward stood up and walked over to Tanya, "Sorry, I was just sitting down," he explained; his voice had the same tone as it did whenever he spoke about me in his interviews.

"Who's this?" she asked pointing her fake nailed finger at me.

Edward was about to say something but I interrupted him, "I'm Bella Swan," I smiled half-heartedly.

I could see the realization come to her face as she recognized me, "oh."

I stood up and placed Ben next to me, he held onto my leg. "Well it's was nice to meet you," I said to her, than faced Edward, "I hope you have a nice life."

I walked away, holding my son's hand.

Every so often I would think about how my life would have been if I had stayed with Edward, would I have had another miscarriage from all the stress of his fans again? Would I have no children? Would I be living in a mansion instead of a one-bedroom apartment? Would Edward's career have stayed the same instead of him losing his fame? Would I have been happy?

While I ran through these countless thoughts in my head, I looked down at my four-year-old child and all my thoughts vanished. It didn't matter what _could have been_; I had a son now, he was my life.

"WAIT!" I glance back at Edward as he ran towards me.

I could see Tanya in the distance, she was in tears and she was walking away. Edward approached me.

"What are you doing?" I murmured.

"Doing something I should have done a long time ago, going _home_" he pulled my body towards his and kissed me so passionately I was beginning to feel light-headed. After a moment his lips parted mine slightly and he whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," the words caressed out of my mouth just before our lips united once more. A small tear escaped my right eye and I felt it run down my cheek, my teeth were radiating in view as my lips framed them in the form of a smile.

**THE END**


End file.
